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Howard
JP's wingman in Fresh Meat. He is a Scottish geology student who is older than the others, having previously done a year in Philosophy but changed courses after disagreements with professors. Howard is eccentric, socially inept and has many strange mannerisms. With the exception of his housemates, he has few friends, but is usually friendly and well-mannered. The housemates tend to approach him with caution, and his behaviour has occasionally cost them popularity. He does not socially interact very often, but has had a sexual fling with temporary housemate Sabine, and took a liking to Sam in the early parts of the third series. He becomes somewhat attracted to Candice, and they later form a relationship. His surname changes repeatedly throughout the series — in series 1, it is Rowbottom; in series 2, it is MacCallum; and in series 3, it is McGregor. Whether this is accidental or deliberate is unclear. Biography Before Fresh Meat Little is known about Howard's past, as he generally avoids talking about his personal life. He resided at 28, Hartnell for 2 years before the arrival of the rest of the characters and has previously done a year in Philosophy before changing courses due to disagreements with professors. Howard has occasionally mentioned his interactions with previous 28, Hartnell residents, including a girl that he had a crush on and a boy who took acid, resulting in Howard having a very boring conversation with him. Series 1 Vod is the first of the new housemates to arrive in series 1. She enters the house to find Howard already in residence, blow-drying Peking ducks in the living room with no underwear on. When the rest of the freshers arrive, Howard proceeds to give them a tour of the house, highlighting such things as his "sweet crouching spot". He and Kingsley immediately connect. Later in the term, housemate Josie arranges a charity blind date event. Vod and Howard end up being paired together, and attend an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet for their date. Howard's 'beat the buffet' tactics involve shovelling food into a backpack, but the two of them are rumbled by an employee of the restaurant. Vod later admits to Oregon that "some pieces of a very unpleasant puzzle are falling into place" when she becomes suspicious that Howard has a crush on her. Josie reveals that Howard helped her to hack into the charity blind date assigning website, and Vod ascertains that Howard used this to ensure that the two of them were matched. After turning down Howard's invitation to the cinema, Vod decides to end Howard's infatuation by telling him straight out that there will never be anything between them. Howard reacts defensively and calls Vod presumptuous and pathetic, claiming that his "junk stays in the trunk". He retreats to his room, where he sadly eats a box of chocolates that he had been intending to give to Vod. As the housemates are drinking and revealing how they lost their virginity, Howard claims that he is "technically not a virgin", but that to explain this, he will require "graph paper and a medical encyclopaedia". Unsurprisingly, the housemates are not interested in learning more about this. Posh housemate JP tries to impress his old schoolmates by obtaining drugs for them, using Howard as a 'wingman'. Howard is not particularly cooperative in this endeavour. When visiting the university residence of JP's schoolmates, Howard meets their flatmate Brian, another social outcast, and the two connect. Later, the housemates attend the 2010 UK tuition fees protest and Howard bonds with Brian. The duo decide to infiltrate a veterinary course's protest for fun and gain acceptance from its members, only to later reveal to the leader that they aren't on the veterinary course and that the protest's security is "woefully lacking". Howard asks Lauren, a girl on his Geology course, on a date, but this is sabotaged by his jealous friend Brian, leading Howard to end their friendship. Brian later throws a rock through Howard's window. With the Christmas break nearing, Josie's fiancée Dave temporarily moves into the house and wins Howard's adoration after he fixes the dishwasher. Later in the pub, Brian intrudes and accosts Howard. Brian makes a move on Josie, and gets headbutted by Dave after revealing that Josie was unfaithful and slept with Kingsley. Howard sits a Geology exam but is forced to leave after he receives an urgent note informing him that his mother has been arrested for murder. This letter is later revealed to have been forged by Brian. In the final episode of the series, Howard is surprised when the mother of Paul Lamb "The Invisible Man" (a resident of the house who is never seen) asks him to keep an eye on her son, who has apparently had a nervous breakdown. Howard does this by installing cameras around the house and inadvertently records an embarrassing video of Paul masturbating unusually, which JP gets hold of. Howard and the rest of the housemates attend JP's father's funeral and Howard is mistaken for a waiter at the wake. At a Love Cloud night, JP's former schoolmates have got hold of the video of Paul, and Howard claims it is in fact him in the video to save Paul from the embarrassment. Kingsley praises his actions and defends Howard from the group, only to be hit by Ralph and escorted off the premises. In the closing scene of the series, the rest of the housemates depart for the Christmas break and Howard is once again seen blow-drying a Peking duck in the living room, but this one is a thank-you present from Paul. Ending and Future At the end of the final series, Howard moves to London along with JP and Kingsley to pursue a job with Ordinance Survey. We finally see his parents who pick him up from the house, who turns out are just like Howard, kind-hearted and slightly eccentric Scots. Category:Male Category:Students Category:Characters Category:Residents of the Fresh Meat House Category:Geology Students